I said, "WAIT a minute! Do you have liability insurance? Are you SURE you want me to be the driver?" That didn't get me out of the driver's seat, so I tried again..."HOLD ON! I give better directions and Eldy follows them better, I wanna switch!" Nope, nada, sorry, the women have to drive, and the men have to tell them where to go...." HA HA...Eldy is looking nervous at this point, at least I think he is, because he knows that I AM AN EX-STOCK CAR DRIVER (at age 40, placed third in the Powder Puff at Plymouth Speedway in Plymouth, IN--seriously!) and Sparky is not called Sparky for nothin'! She is not the SL-O-O-O--W, take it easy in a golf cart kinda gal...I tried one last time..."WAIT A MINUTE, GUYS!" I holler out, still blindfolded. "I HAVE ONLY DRIVEN A GOLF CART A COUPLE OF TIMES! WHERE'S THE BRAKE?" But then I heard...... "You-- are-- being--- TIMED".
And those were the magic words, folks. That's all it takes to get Sparky's competitive edge juices flowing..I took off like a bat outta hell...I jammed that gas pedal as soon as Eldy said go forward, I jammed that gas pedal as Eldy said, "Now RIGHT, HARD RIGHT! HARD RIGHT!" By the time I was told to go left, go right, go straight, no, no, hard left, hard right, NOT SO FAST! SLOW DOWN! I started getting a little disoriented. I decided what the hell and did a donut --360 spin to get off the damn cart. I'd had enough! What I didn't know was I almost ran Nick Russell over in my haste to get off the course and follow my own path...(which she ALWAYS does anyway...says E.) Now Nick is a tubby kind of guy and the only time I think he would run fast is to chase down his wife, Miss Terry, for a big kiss.... I ripped off the blindfold and had I not gotten crazy with the donut swing around and finished the course properly, we probably would have had the best time... Nick was panting and sweating, and I wondered why--all he had to do was walk around the course cones and point to Eldy which way I was to negotiate the course! Course I didn't know I had almost caused him cardiac arrest by deviating from the course and jammin' the gas pedal, aiming right towards him! I said, "Nick...does this mean I won't be in the rally next year?" And he says, "10-4, good buddy!" And then he adds, "If you were, I'd be TASTEFULLY dead!" HMPF!
|Eldo guiding Dennis, the RV driving school teacher!